When NOT to say "what the heck, let's do it"

Picture it, ladies...a romantic cabin in the middle of the woods, complete with heart shaped jacuzzi. Okay I gagged a little at first too but add some bubbles and champagne to said jacuzzi and you'd be all about it too. Fast forward to post-champagne bliss...You and your man are gettin' frisky, you're both feeling it, and feeling the alcohol a bit. Add a naughty outfit (did I mention it was Valentine's Day?) and you're good to go. As in on each other...ahem...excuse the graphic-ness, family members! Anyway, so you're all alone in this wonderful place so you think HEY let's get out the digital camera. It's 2009 baby, no film, no creeps at the CVS passing it around, and best of all, any awful pics can be deleted. So what the heck, pictures are being snapped by both of you. Let me stress this to you, girls: Unless you are under the age of 22, this is not a "what the heck" situation. Parents and guidance counselors warn young girls of the dangers of drugs and alcohol, wild boys, sex and rock 'n roll, but none warn us of the dangers of digital cameras. Dangers? YES DANGERS. Because while you may feel like a porn star, you look more like a Slim-Fast Star-Wannabe! You'll be dialing up "Jenny" or Weight Watchers or even your local plastic surgeon (should you be so wealthy).
Here is why this is one area in the bedroom you must always remain uptight: the camera will pick up things you never knew existed. "Sure I knew I was getting older, lazier, had a bit more ass to shake, but I look gooooood right?" Wrong. Dead wrong. "Well I mean I look pretty ok right?" Nope. Still wrong. You know how your ass looks in the mirror in the morning? This will be 10 times worse. There is no escaping the still life image of your, well, your EVERYTHING. At at least in the mornings you can leap quickly past the mirror with visions of a semi-attractive body dancing in your head. But the pictures, well, there in front of your face, (and your man's if you're so stupid to let him see the pics simultaneously) are dimples, lumps rolls, moles, hairs(!) that you will be saying to yourself WHERE DID THIS COME FROM? Suddenly a moment or two of passion will lead to you dissecting yourself and your body. "Why didn't I get that waxed?" "Why did I eat that?" "Where did that ________ COME FROM?"
If you still feel the need to partake in some nekkid pics, please follow the following rules I've developed:
1. take them alone
2. do not let your man see unless they are properly edited
3. do NOT upload them to your computer if you're slightly concerned, go ahead and delete. If it looks bad on your 3 inch screen, it's going to look awful on a 20 inch screen.
4. If you feel it is absolutely necessary to bring some boudoir pics into your life, at least consider visiting a professional.This may sound sketchy but, HELLO! AIRBRUSHING!!!!!!!!!!

Happy VDay.