"Boob shirt"

Today I was wearing a Target Junior's polo shirt for work. When I put it on, all the buttons popped open and my breasts were immediately exposed. (for clarification, Target Junior's was not meant for anyone with more than an A cup breast or large biceps....yes, my massive guns mean I have to stretch the sleeves of these shirts out whenever I wear them. More on that and my passion for pumping iron later.) Anyway, I walked out to the living room and said to The Husband, "haha maybe I'll wear it like this to work!" To which he replies, "Oooh yeah, you can be my naughty gas station attendant!!" Really? Seriously? Smelling of gas and having the grease under the nails? Thanks...glad to know your fantasies are not extravagent!!! Needless to say, I buttoned up wordlessly and travelled on to work. A little speechless... (also??? this deserves another REALLY???? gas station attendents are hot!??!?!!)

Another laundry related post.

Every weekend I do between 5 and 8 loads of laundry. I really want a set of those industrial washer/dryers like Jon and Kate Plus 8 got in their new home. Except with maybe six fewer kids. And a few less affairs.

Isn't it Ironic....

It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife...or 4 bottles of laundry detergent when all you need is softener....doncha think? Yes I really do think.

Job Description

Victoria's Secret is always advertising things like "The newest technology is bringing you our most advanced bra ever!" Can you imagine someone asking what you do and having to say, "Well, mainly I work on designing bras. Thanks to me, underwire and no-slip straps have made decades worth of improvements in only a few years. One day I hope to work on no-ride thongs."

Question

Are dudes allowed to smoke VA Slims? What sort of gender rules apply to cigarette smoking?

Pug Rescue? For serious?

Today I saw this license plate: PUG RSQ. Pug Rescue? My first thought was, "Must be some rich bitch playing on the fact she has a few pugs at home, and thinks the rest of the world would care to read about it on her vanity plate." But it was on a pretty beat up truck with lots of "hippie stickers" (as my husband calls them) so there went my Rich Bitch Theory. I decided the plates probably were serious.

Now I ask you THIS: Do pugs really need rescuing?!?!?! Aging greyhounds, ex-fighter pitbulls, I can understand these dogs being abandoned and needing rescuing. Or any dogs that have been abandoned needing a home. But PUGS? What, do people decide they're just too ugly and can't handle the snotty-nosed breathing anymore? Enough people so we actually need entire organizations specifically devoted to saving the pug?!?!

This warranted more investigation. Apparently there are quite a few pug rescue organizations in the US. (Interestingly enough, all orgs in Utah have been disbanded. I guess when you have to keep up with several wives you don't have time to volunteer.) After perusing their sites, the main reason I could find is "abandonment", probably the main reason for any animal rescue. So why devote your time to just pugs? None of the organizations really hit on their reason for snubbing their nose at non-pug breeds. However, if you have a spare $350 or so, you can have a "rescued pug" of your very own. Maybe you'll love it enough to put it on your license plate.

When NOT to say "what the heck, let's do it"

Picture it, ladies...a romantic cabin in the middle of the woods, complete with heart shaped jacuzzi. Okay I gagged a little at first too but add some bubbles and champagne to said jacuzzi and you'd be all about it too. Fast forward to post-champagne bliss...You and your man are gettin' frisky, you're both feeling it, and feeling the alcohol a bit. Add a naughty outfit (did I mention it was Valentine's Day?) and you're good to go. As in on each other...ahem...excuse the graphic-ness, family members! Anyway, so you're all alone in this wonderful place so you think HEY let's get out the digital camera. It's 2009 baby, no film, no creeps at the CVS passing it around, and best of all, any awful pics can be deleted. So what the heck, pictures are being snapped by both of you. Let me stress this to you, girls: Unless you are under the age of 22, this is not a "what the heck" situation. Parents and guidance counselors warn young girls of the dangers of drugs and alcohol, wild boys, sex and rock 'n roll, but none warn us of the dangers of digital cameras. Dangers? YES DANGERS. Because while you may feel like a porn star, you look more like a Slim-Fast Star-Wannabe! You'll be dialing up "Jenny" or Weight Watchers or even your local plastic surgeon (should you be so wealthy).
Here is why this is one area in the bedroom you must always remain uptight: the camera will pick up things you never knew existed. "Sure I knew I was getting older, lazier, had a bit more ass to shake, but I look gooooood right?" Wrong. Dead wrong. "Well I mean I look pretty ok right?" Nope. Still wrong. You know how your ass looks in the mirror in the morning? This will be 10 times worse. There is no escaping the still life image of your, well, your EVERYTHING. At at least in the mornings you can leap quickly past the mirror with visions of a semi-attractive body dancing in your head. But the pictures, well, there in front of your face, (and your man's if you're so stupid to let him see the pics simultaneously) are dimples, lumps rolls, moles, hairs(!) that you will be saying to yourself WHERE DID THIS COME FROM? Suddenly a moment or two of passion will lead to you dissecting yourself and your body. "Why didn't I get that waxed?" "Why did I eat that?" "Where did that ________ COME FROM?"
If you still feel the need to partake in some nekkid pics, please follow the following rules I've developed:
1. take them alone
2. do not let your man see unless they are properly edited
3. do NOT upload them to your computer if you're slightly concerned, go ahead and delete. If it looks bad on your 3 inch screen, it's going to look awful on a 20 inch screen.
4. If you feel it is absolutely necessary to bring some boudoir pics into your life, at least consider visiting a professional.This may sound sketchy but, HELLO! AIRBRUSHING!!!!!!!!!!

Happy VDay.

Sixteenth Rupee

Why "Sixteenth Rupee"? My first name, Anna, is also the name for a former unit of currency used in Pakistan and India. "Anna" is one-sixteenth of a rupee, which is equivalent to about 2 cents. Get it get it? Anna's 2 cents!! (Also my bday is the 16th which just adds to the meaning a little.) GENIUS!!